It's difficult to say that...

These photos were taken just an hour before our group defense. Oh by the way, this is our Alumni Centre project. It does look like a project on Landscape Architecture but it isn't really.

Never let me go

"I saw a little girl, her eyes tightly closed, holding to her breast the world, one that she knew in her heart that could not remain, and she was holding it and pleading, never to let her go."

I never thought I was actually going to finish this book because reading the first ten chapters of it bored me but I stand corrected.  I first got the title from the list of 100 best books of Time Magazine and when I read its synopsis, the story was weird enough to get me find a copy from the bookstore. The story was not easy enough to understand at first since it was not really the type of book I would want to read. However, reading through the whole story made me think of a life that is so bound up to wait for something to happen, something bad that the person already knows that is going to happen to him/her but could not find a way to change fate. And that person is only waiting for that time to actually happen, as if that something was not so bad after all.

Reading this book made me think about my future - what if I'm not cut out to become an architect - what if I’m supposed to be someone else. And still I am pursuing what I think I should be - because I really want to - because I have to. I am happy with my course of course but there are times that I end up regretting this track I've chosen. I always dream of working for big firms in the future but I'm not doing anything so great to make me remarkable in the field. What I do regret is letting three and a half years of my life go to waste with not being spontaneous. Through the whole three years and a half of my college life, I have thought of changing myself but still caught up with the past so much that I could not let it go that easy. I want to and I think I should. I still have two and half years to try and change myself. That I am eager to see happening.

My day started at around 11am at Jackie's place near University of Santo Tomas. Since the actual enrollment was still 3 hours from then, I did some reading myself...you know, to burn some hours. I really felt sick this day. I was coughing and sneezing the whole day. I even thought I was actually going to get a fever but thankfully I still hadn't. Still am sick now. Okay enough of that, let's go ahead with what happened with my day.

2:00 PM >>
we met one of our classmate in front the seminary Gym so we could finish up together. Inside, I went to get assessed with my fees hoping that they were wrong to change the fee I already got last October 11. *I was one wrong, they changed it probably just this week. They've increased it. Darn school office for not informing us right away* I had to tell the girl behind the machine that I'm short of money so I told her that I had to go outside and get more so I could pay up in full. Luckily she let me. *We went outside to get my money*
Back inside the gym, I was still in confusion abut the tuition fee thing because, thinking what I would tell my mum since she gave me the money I asked her already. *argh, done with the actual enrollment. Let's head on with what happened right after*
So, we ate lunch and then went to our college building so someone could get her History plate from our locker. But since it wasn't there, we decided to leave. Somebody met a friend outside our building and wanted to play billiards. Till, they both agreed to play. Since I still don't want to get home despite of my sickness, I tagged along.
I was so decided not to play since I was not in the mood. But after they have played two games, they have encouraged me to play even though I'm no good at all. The day finished sometime 5pm *after those games, I went home with a headache* 

It all started on the eve of Thursday.  I decided to sleep when I still had a plate to start and must be finished on the following day. I was searching for the structure analysis of Pashupati Nath Temple in Kathmandu, Nepal  when I felt my eyes getting heavy so I thought that I’ll just sleep it off and wake up at 2am the next day. I woke up at exactly 2 am but thought that I could do it in 4 hours time anyway so I put my alarm on at 4am and went back to sleep. Gladly I woke up at the said time and that’s when it came to me that I only had 4 hours to finish the damned plate and found myself rushing the whole thing. I was colouring it with pencils and watercolour, but that wasn’t enough. I finally gave up since I knew that I was not going to finish it anyway so I left the other portions only inked.

It was already 8.30 am and the submission is in 1.5 hours, my travel from home to school is 1 hour and I still haven’t had neither breakfast nor brunch and showered even. 

On my way to school, I was in a jeepney bound for Quiapo. That jeepney collided with a motorbike so the driver asked us to transfer to other jeepneys. While riding in the second jeepney, along Blumentritt a motorbike smashed the vehicle I was in and two old men inside were arguing about the accident. On the climax of their argument, it was not the accident they were discussing anymore, it was the government. Old men...

- In school, nothing improbable happened so I'm not discussing it here. -

After school at 6pm, I was fastly walking to Morayta to catch an FX/jeepney to get home but unfortunately it was already 7pm and Im still not in one so I walked up further to Morayta and took a jeepney bound for Philcoa instead of Proj.8 and got off at Roces/Pantranco area. From there I walked up the footbridge to get to the other side of Quezon Ave. hoping to catch a jeepney routed Proj.8 and all of them were still full at that point so I took the Munoz route instead and from Munoz I took another jeepney bound for Proj.8 and the rest is history.

We were given this project just this week and it's actually a group of three project. However, the research is to be done with 6 members to make it more easier for us students. They gave us the space requirements but with no lot dimensions so some did the pace factor of the lot from the old gymnasium to the domus mariae buildings and us took our dimensions from googleEARTH. There's no perspective required but a model is a must.

So far, we have no idea what kind of design to incorporate or what shape we want our building/s to be.

• I used to love writing blogs, have wrote quite a few on my other blog pages already and I just lost my passion for it until now. In front of the computer, squeezing my brain out, thinking of what to blog about next and I have none but this. It is important for me to blog about what I think and feel because sometimes, this is my only way of telling people what I think of them without being specific of the persons involved, somewhat like a therapy for me.

• I've also abdicated my position in class earlier this school semester with the help and advice of a friend. The reason: I've grown tired sending messages to the class body without them ever acknowledging my past efforts. However, I do not regret asking for their votes more than 2 years ago. Yes, I filled up that same position for two consecutive years. A big kudos to those who plan to stick with their positions until our fifth year.

• I wouldn't say that I've lost my passion for talking to my best friends, I actually have a reason. We all have lives of our own and I just happen to be busy so much with mine...school works to be the least of my worries. Ah, I really do miss talking to them. I'm afraid that when I do get the time to finally talk to one of them, they might already be gone. That would suck big time on my part.

Two nights ago my dad's phone rung, i gave it to my mum for her to answer. suddenly, my mum answered "sino to?" ..."huh?". It was my cousin telling my mum to wait for her, it was already passed 10pm that time,as she wants to introduce her fiance' to us. I was shocked when mum told me this, I didn't even know that she has a boyfriend and little did I know that her boyfriend is Korean. I was working on my design project  When they arrived, I didn't know how to front or even greet her that time so I kept on typing and typing those values for my space programming. Since our desktop is near the living room I could hear them talking about the wedding plans and the plans after that. I also heard them saying that she will have to go and live in Korea eventually which is quite okay because I've known for so long how much she wanted to live abroad. An hour or so passed and I still didn't talk to her, I didn't want to ask her why she is marrying at such a rushed time since she's already old enough to have a family of her own and I know that she should have a family of her own.

Just then, I got home with no one around. I sent my mum a message asking where they were...the phone rung and it was my mum. She said they were at Aberdeen in Makati Ave. because my cousin's getting married... today, no kidding!

To be honest, I am a bit disappointed with her because she didn't even get to know the guy more beforehand and yet she still marries him. What if the guy's a prick, what if he hurts her? I hope that these thoughts will only be thoughts and will not become reality.

We were at Wilcon's Hardware this morning. I didn't have breakfast because I thought we were going to attend a mass then have lunch somewhere else, but since we left around 9am already my mum decided not to attend the mass, instead we headed straight to Wilcon's with my stomach empty. My parents, bought some wrought irons and tiles for the house they're building. So I patiently waited along with my sis for them to finish and claim their items. Then inside the car, I yawned them bam, my jaw locked. It was just a normal yawn but weirdly enough to have my jaw locked. I somehow managed to get my sister's attention then my mum and dad's. My mum told my dad to dive to a nearby hospital right away so I can be looked at. I couldn't talk for nearly an hour. I was laughing it off actually, even though it hurt. When we got to the first hospital we went in, the nurse in charge said that we should go to a General Hospital because they don't have EENT there so that's what we did exactly. We left for Malvar General Hospital in Commonwealth Ave. thankfully they do have DOCTORS there who could assist me. They drugged me so I could be calm before they put back my jaw into place, then I fell asleep for 5 minutes after. The Doctors suggested that I should be xrayed so they could look at my jaw joints. The xray result was okay but they told me that if this keep recurring they would eventually have to operate on me. This scares me, I don't want to be cut open. Now, I can't eat any hard foods, like meat. And I have to take 3 different medications.